Week 6

It’s Week 6 of ‘A View from Row Z’, your uninformed take on the various happenings in the CeeDee Compilation Bowl Fantasy League. Matt H here - filling in for Matt O’D, who I understand is currently - to some degree or another - going “loco” down in “Acapulco”. More on that story as it develops.

Before we get started - this week I asked Matt to remind me who everyone supported and he sent me this list.

Rich - Chargers / Besty - Steelers / Reece - Jags / Dali - Bears / Andy - Giants/ Mike - Jets /Matt - Saints /Zan & Jen - Seahawks /Me - Rams.

Good grief - what a shower of sh*t. You can’t call any of us glory supporters. We’re here for a love of the game. So with that in mind - let’s get on with it…

Top Stats - Week Six

Highest scoring team

A Tadd McShonkey161.99pts

Lowest scoring team

Team snowshufflejr83.72pts(Honorable mention to myself on 83.86pts)

Highest bench score

Team snowshufflerjr95.25pts

Top Rostered Player

Bijan Robinson38.80pts(A Tadd McShonkey)

Closest game

Shedeurs Support Group vs Breece Lightning12.36pts

Biggest blowout

Dali’s Salvadors vs Team snowshufflerjr54.82.pts

So…Week 6…You join me for a gameweek which saw the Broncos take on the Jets in London. A city we all thought had seen enough atrocities to last a lifetime. But sadly was forced to endure one more.

It finished 13-11 and was a great advert for the game. If by “advert” you mean one of those photos of clogged arteries they use to scare you off buying packs of Benson and Hedges Superking. The Tottenham Hotspur stadium hadn’t seen such a drab display of attacking ineptitude since all of last season under Ange.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Zan and Andy - who sat through the entire ordeal in person. With only warm pints of eight pound Amstel to ease their pain. Same time next year, lads?

**Week 6 Score: Shedeurs Support Group (94.42) 0-6 // Breece Lightning (106.78) 3-3 **

This week’s closest match up *almost* saw Reece pick up his first win of the season. But in the NFL - as in life - it’s always the ones you hold dear who hurt you the most. A collective bed-shitting from his beloved Jags failed to snatch him the win - worst offenders being 5.50pts from Travis Hunter and a less than helpful -2.00pts from much hyped kicker Cam Little - who not only missed a field goal but also an extra point. A mistake which generally sees kickers bundled into a van at midnight and buried under a freeway. Mike made some bold moves - dropping a stud like Rome Odunze (5.20pts). But it paid off. A hefty 31.80pts from resurgent George Pickens in a CeeDee Lambless Dallas secured him the points. Well deserved considering we all had to endure Breece Hall trudge his way to 5.90pts from 22 carries like he was wading through bodies in the Somme.

**Week 6 Score: Multiple Goregasms (98.96) 3-3 // NobodyNeedsGoodNabers (83.86) 2-4 **

In order to be a good host - this week I decided to post my lowest score of the season by some distance and hand Besty the win. A result I was fine with until I woke up this morning and realised D’Andre Swift dropped 28.50pts on the Commanders. It was a match up which didn’t set the world alight. Two bang average, mid table teams. De’Von Achane’s 31.00pts probably proved the difference. Coupled with an underpowered week for all three of my Running Backs: Walker, Cook and Gibbs. Who, coincidentally, are also the legal firm representing Justin Tucker. Betsy displayed 100% efficiency - albeit because he had 3 players injured and two on byes. But still. Pretty handy management. There were also 9.30pts and 6.60pts respectively for Jeudy and Andrews. A fact I only note because I thought she was busy looking after the Von Trapp kids in The Sound of Music. Anyway - where was I? Oh yeah, well done Besty.

Week 6 Score: Game of Throws (113.04) 4-2 // A Tadd McShonkey (161.99) 2-4

With a mammoth score of almost double that of my roster - Rich coasted home to claw himself up to 2-4. People scoffed when he picked Bijan first overall - well he just notched 38.80 points. Kudos too for being the only coach smart enough to scoop up Rico Dowdle (32.90) - who is playing like a scorned lover after being jettisoned by the Cowboys. Add to that a 22.75 haul from the Rams D and all and all it’s an impressive week. I have nothing to slag him off about. So I’ll just mention the fact that when we lived together, his skinny jeans were so tiny, that when my girlfriend (now wife) used to see them drying on the rack - it made her physically sick. For Andy - it’s hard to overcome a 160pt effort - but his own 113pts would’ve been enough to beat 6 of the other rosters this week. So he can count himself a touch unlucky. There were solid efforts from Jonathan Taylor (23.70pts), Trey McBride (21.20pts) and the brutal Broncos D (16.50pts). Sadly Jacory Croskey-Merritt (aka Bill) could only notch 4.80pts after a breakout last week. Look for him to come good as the season goes on. But Andy’s not so bothered about that. As I have it on good authority he’s suddenly rediscovered his voice as a Giants fan after they turned over the Iggles on Thursday night. Yes, it’s all fun and games now. But wait until someone looks back at what Cam Skattebo was tweeting at age 14. He’ll be cancelled by the bye week. I’m not saying Cam lacks brainpower - but I’m not convinced he could even spell CTE. To recap: Andy remains handily placed at 4-2.

Week 6 Score: Dali’s Salvadors (138.54) 5-1 // SnowshufflerJr (83.72) 2-4

It was a week to forget for Jen. Her lowest total of the season. Everyone’s favourite new wide out Emeka Egbuka (4.40pts) succumbing to a hamstring injury and her running backs Henderson and Charbonnet combining for fewer than 10points. Tough questions will be asked in the next meeting between her GM (herself) and her head coach (herself again) as to how she left 95+ points on her bench. Wide outs Drake London (31.80) and Brian Thomas Jr (23.00) being the worst offenders. See Reece - some Jags players are good. But that upturn in form for Brian and Drake might prove useful if Egbuka’s injury proves serious. For Dali it’s business as usual. There were star turns from Josh Jacobs (32.00) and Ladd McConkey (23.00) but even the supporting cast chipped in. With Tucker Kraft and Tet McMillan only notching 43 and 29 yards respectively - but each hauling in TD or two to boost their scores. He rolls on to 5-1 - with a record like that, it’s no wonder he’s the only person who ever says anything in the group chat. Although I won’t slag him off too much. I still might need to butter him up for free tickets.

Week 6 Score: Third Time Charmers (138.34) 6-0 // Clapton Cats (100.62) 3-2

Last but not least, it’s Matt vs Zan. And your regular columnist saw himself move to an imposing 6-0 start. To celebrate he’s going to return home from Mexico with a kilo of high grade cocaine decanted into a balloon and shoved up his rectum. The next time we’ll see him will be on the BBC News homepage, being detained by border agents as he screams “but officer, JSN caught a 60 yard tuddy…”. The 33.20pts for the aforementioned Seattle star helped bolster his total. As did 24.10pts from a Christian McCaffrey - a man everyone was convinced would get injured but unfortunately for the rest of us - hasn’t…yet. Sadly though, a couple of his stars did. Puka Nacua and Garrett Wilson picked up knocks - but both seem like they won’t miss extended periods. If they do, Matt might need some waiver wire magic. I’m very much open to trading Marvin Harrison - the only useful thing he’s done all season is this past Sunday when he got concussion. Bumping up against Matt this week were Zan’s Clapton Catz - who tipped over 100 points but couldn’t keep pace with the Charmers. I underestimate how much maths I’d need to do for this write up. But even if Zan had played his strongest possible team - it wouldn’t have got him the W. Still, seeing three TD hero Cam Skattebo (31.00) riding the bench isn’t a good look. Interestingly it’s pronounced Skatte-“boo”- and not just because Halloween is coming up. It’s also because he looks like an early make up test from Teen Wolf.

Right, that’s enough of that. KThanksBye

According to Sleeper, our top picks on the waivers include:

Aaron Rodgers - QB

Mike Evans- WR

Kimani Vidal - RB

Willie Beamon - QB

Ray Finkle - K

OJ Simpson - DOA

Legends don’t play for points. They play for the CeeDee Compilation Bowl.