Week 15

It’s Week 15 of ‘A View from Row Z’, your uninformed take on the various happenings in the CeeDee Compilation Bowl Fantasy League. The playoffs have come to town (along with Father Christmas) and “the beast has risen” to meet the challenge.

Top Stats - Week Fifteen

Highest scoring team

SnowshufflerJr153.0pts

Lowest scoring team

Shedeurs Support Group69.67pts

Highest bench score

Clapton Catz81.0pts

Top Rostered Player

Trevor Lawrence44.3pts

Closest Game

Multiple Goregasms v Dali’s Salvadors2.52pts

Biggest Blowout

NobodyNeedsGoodNabers v Shedeurs Support Group57.92pts

It’s Week 15 and the playoffs have officially begun. After last week’s pretty average performances, it was time to add a little spice to proceedings. Jen started things by picking up 44-year-old Philip Rivers, who returned to action this week with the Colts. Fair play to him, living every high school gym teacher's, “I’ve still got it” dream. In all honesty, he must really hate his wife and ten kids, because the lengths he has gone to avoid them this Christmas, is admirable. Definitely my favourite pickup of the season. Dali picked up Brock Purdy, per Sleeper’s recommendation last week - creative thinking there, and Zan tried to bolster his squad. It seemed people were taking things seriously this week. Anyways, let’s dive in and see how badly Reece did this week.

Championship Playoffs

Week 15 Score: Multiple Goregasms - L (128.03) // Dali’s Salvadors - W (130.55)

Definitely the highlight of the week, so we can start with our very own battle of the Geordies. It was closer than either coach would have wanted. This swung wildly from Dali to Betsy, and I have to say, I really wanted this to go against Dali (sorry) if only for the banter. Dali (understandably) left Trevor Lawrence on the bench, but after a season high of 44.3pts, imagine how high you could’ve flown if you’d unleashed that glorious, flowing, hair flamethrower. It certainly would have made you less anxious about whether De’Von Achane (18.70pts) could reach his Week 10 high and spoil your playoff run. But you scraped through, now questioning whether you can actually put your faith in the Jags for the remaining two weeks. Betsy did his best though. By his own admission, his team had switched off, but like Lazarus from the dead, the team rose up to make a good go of it. Bo Nix (29.08pts) and Nico Collins (26.50pts) were the star performers, but with four players scoring under 10pts, that margin to win started to fall apart as we got to MNF. Well done to both, you kept it interesting and it’s what the week needed. Thank you!

Week 15 Score: A Tadd McShonkey - W (132.75) // Clapton Catz - L (95.92)

And so, to the other first-round playoff for the Championship. Rookie vs Veteran. I paid attention to this one mostly because the winner plays me next week. It had the trappings of a good contest but unlike our first playoff, it did not live up to the bill. Rich went about his business with ruthless efficiency, only leaving 7.34pts on the table for the optimum line-up. Speaking of which, Zan kinda blew his chances, 81.0pts on the bench, 44.2pts on the table from an optimum line-up and a pretty poor 68% efficiency score. I’ve got your, “What if I actually played my points” medal here Zan. I will send it in the post. Highlights for those interested, Etienne (31.50pts), Robinson (28.50pts) and Josh Allen for Zan getting 24.52pts. Nice work, but on my week off, I still scored 145.36pts. So, you’re going to need to carry that efficiency (and luck) into next week. I will be waiting.

As for the losers, they will play again next week for the 5th/6th place playoff, so best of luck to Zan and Betsy. Last week for you guys, let’s bring it home strongly. You’re playing for pride now.

Toilet Bowl Playoffs

Week 15 Score: NobodyNeedsGoodNabers - W (127.59) // Shedeurs Support Group - L (69.67)

The kickings have kept coming for Reece this season and they haven’t stopped this week. The week's biggest blowout and Matt avoids being crowned this year’s Shit King. Well done, but as always, it’s a hollow victory when the league's weakest is your victim. Great scores from Cook (31.10pts), Dart (21.14pts) and Olave (20.50pts). You could have done even better to widen the gap on Reece, as 143.19pts could have been your eventual total. A familiar tale for Reece as he has officially given up. Chris Rodriguez was OUT, Sam LaPorta is STILL on the IR list, I think it’s been 5 weeks in the starting line-up now and at this point, I am certain Reece has either deleted the Sleeper App or cannot face the shame of opening it. 7 players under 10pts and Matt Stafford (19.92pts) and DJ Moore (22.90pts) with the only respectable scores of the week. Do we crown Reece early at this point? We will see you next week for one final, painful and tear-inducing outing. I am sure that, much like the rest of us, we will be glad to see the back of probably a less competitive season than Dali’s last year. It’s tough to watch, like an out of tune X-Factor audition from the mid-noughties. You want to see the outcome, but watching them get there is difficult.

Week 15 Score: SnowshufflerJr - L (153.00) // Breece Lightning - L (100.16)

Lastly, we have Jen and Mike. I will start with Mike. A tough rookie season for the long-suffering Jets fan, both here and IRL. This week was another one of those, where picking the right team would have made this a little more respectable without changing the result. Mahomes (13.06pts) getting injured and 4 players going missing for the week did not help. Notably, nobody got over 20pts from your starting line-up and your best-scoring players keeping the bench warm, made things much more difficult than it needed to be. As for Jen, well, she came out swinging this week. Absolutely smashed her score this week and even had the luxury of playing the previously mentioned Philip Rivers for a return of 6.30pts. Big mentions to Amon-Ra St. Brown for netting 41.40pts and TreVeyon Henderson getting 36.10pts. Congrats. It keeps you firmly out of contention for the Shit King title, but sadly sends Mike to perhaps the easiest game of his season. Reece isn’t paying attention, so the next one is a 1yd tap-in.

Stats from the Overlord

So that was Week 15. No big surprises, but if it’s your last game next week, let's really go for it. I want to see some close matchups. I suppose I also have to make a special mention to the much ridiculed Kyle Pitts. Well done - 75% of your TDs for the season came this week and an era-defining, one, good game this season. I am certain his normal, hope-destroying service will continue next week.

Next weeks fixtures as follows:

Third Time Charmers v A Tadd McShonkey - Semi-Final Playoff

Game of Throws v Dali’s Salvadors - Semi-Final Playoff

Multiple Goregasms v Clapton Catz - 5th/6th Playoff

NobodyNeedsGoodNabers v SnowShufflerJr - 7th/8th Playoff

Breece Lightning v Sheduers Support Group - Shit King Champion Matchup

According to Sleeper, our top picks on the waivers include, but are not limited to:

Justin Herbert - QB

Kenneth Gainwell - RB

Khalil Shakir - WR

Kyle Pitts - TE

Evan McPherson - K

Buffalo Bills - DEF

Legends don’t play for points. They play for the CeeDee Compilation Bowl.