Week 16

It’s Week 16 of ‘A View from Row Z’, your uninformed take on the various happenings in the CeeDee Compilation Bowl Fantasy League. Things really heated up this week, and not just for Puka Nacua and his ‘eventful’ lead-up to this week. Still, this week’s results were stunning and exciting. Let’s go!

Top Stats - Week Sixteen

Highest scoring team

Third Time Charmers207.46pts

Lowest scoring team

SnowshufflerJr75.00pts

Highest bench score

Dali’s Salvadors67.5pts

Top Rostered Player

Puka Nacua46.5pts

Closest Game

Shedeurs Support Group v Breece Lightning9.42pts

Biggest Blowout

Third Time Charmers v A Tadd McShonkey68.07pts

It’s Week 16 and the playoffs are in full swing. Dali made full use of the waivers this week, picking up four players. The pick of the bunch being Kenneth Gainwell (23.80pts), who had a fantastic week. Elsewhere, Rich jumped straight on the Kyle Pitts hype train, after his career-defining performance in Week 15. I said it then and I will say it now. Sucker. Now we launch into the most intense week of the season. Who will be crowned our worst player, who is going through to the final, and which positions have been solidified? It’s been a long season, and I am sure a few of you will be glad to see the back of it.

Championship Playoffs - Round 2

Week 16 5th Place Playoff: Multiple Goregasms - L (88.38) // Clapton Catz - W (114.85)

Let’s start with the 5th Place playoff. And for the last time this season, Besty donned the Betsy alter-ego, and finally ran out of steam in the last game. 6 players failed to score over 10pts, and nobody got over the 20pts barrier. A weak exit from proceedings, and Besty will have to really re-think his approach for next season. Decent efficiency from the Geordie lad, but not enough gas in the tank. As for Zan, he rounded off his rookie season in the league with a win and 5th place in the bag, along with the less desirable ‘Lowest Winning Score’ award for the week. Some good points from Chase Brown (32.90pts), Derrick Henry (21.80pts - remember him!) and Courtland Sutton (20.60pts). 5th place in the bag for Zan and a perfectly average opening season. I’d say congrats, but Andy promised more…let’s see how the sophomore season goes.

Week 16 Playoff: Game of Throws - L (121.46) // Dali’s Salvadors - W (138.32)

This was the game I had my eyes on this week. Who would I be playing in the final? Well, it was close. It swung from one way to the other, but eventually, Dali made it stick and put Andy’s late, BYE week-stealing charge to bed. Dali claimed the 16.86-point win while leaving Brock Purdy’s 29.9pts score on the bench, like a surreal afterthought. The team chimed in with consistent point-scoring. Ka’imi Fairbairn (16pts), Houston’s DEF got 14pts and Tetairoa McMillan scored 19.30pts. Consistency is key, kids, especially when a spot in the Championship game is up for grabs. As for Andy, well, it was a valiant effort. On projections, he should have won it, but projections are a bit like predicting the weather. Sometimes it’s sunny, but other times, you get left out in the rain with no umbrella. Even with better efficiency, the result wouldn’t have changed. Nice work for Joe Burrow (28.96pts), but the team as a whole fell at the final hurdle. Tough one for Andy. You drop into the game nobody wants to be in- the 3rd place playoff. As for Dali, his 10-4 season pays off with a place in the coveted final.

Week 16 Playoff: Third Time Charmers - W (207.46) // A Tadd McShonkey - L (139.39)

Now, I was reliably informed this morning by Richard, that it was possible to be a bad winner. After some research and a re-count of the points, I have found this to be very true. I didn’t just win. I opened a Michelin-star restaurant and served Richard a nine-course tasting menu of pain. The season's highest score of 207.46pts. Puka Nacua, producing a season's best of 46.5pts and no player scoring in the single digits. I even had room to leave Caleb Williams on the bench for 21pts, because there were just too many stars in the kitchen. Richard, meanwhile, brought home a respectable 139.39pts for the “Highest Losing Score” award. He would have beaten everyone bar me and Reece this week. Ouch. Special shout-out to the Seahawks DEF with a neat-o -1.25pts. In another universe, this score wins every time. In this one, it’s just a painful reality check, that when you come up against a heavyweight, it doesn’t matter how fast you run, your jaw is getting broken in two places and your opponent is smiling whilst doing it. For the avoidance of any doubt. I am smiling. So, Rich crashes out and joins Andy in the 3rd place consolation game, and I join Dali for what I hope is my third time lucky attempt at winning this bloody league. One more week. Please.

Toilet Bowl Playoffs

Week 16 8th Place Playoff: SnowshufflerJr - L (75.00) // NobodyNeedsGoodNabers - W (135.52)

Ok, so now we get to the final games of the Toilet Bowl. Jen has given up. After last week’s stormer, she well and truly fell off the wagon. 2nd least efficient team, but it wouldn’t have mattered. 98.5pts wouldn’t have troubled Matt, anyways. Not sure why you have 3 QBs in your squad. I know one is for the banter, but three seems greedy. Anyways, 6 players scoring under 10pts, and nobody getting over the magic 20pts barrier, means that Jen finishes up the season in 8th place. Matt Hulme© went out with a very respectable and business-like 135.52pts to round off his season. Chris Olave (36.80pts), James Cook (26.4pts) and Jahmyr Gibbs (21.8pts), were the stars of this particular show. A less strong second season for Matt, but one I am sure he will learn from. Perhaps, less gameshow ideas for Channel 5’s coverage of the NFL and more attention to the squad and who Starts and Sits. Well done to both and see you next year!

Week 15 Shit King Playoff: Shedeurs Support Group - W (147.13) // Breece Lightning - L (137.71)

Now this league throws up surprises. Odd results. Bad choices. But this game has got to be the most eyebrow-raising result ever, in the whole history of this league. If you had asked everyone to bet on this game's outcome, I think EVERYONE, and I include Reece in this, would have picked Mike for the win. But in a twist of fate that would have put most bookies out of business, Reece took a hold of this one, and by some minor miracle, avoided a second consecutive Shit King title. I still can’t believe it. He still played Sam LaPorta, despite his being on the IR list for sometime now. Big shout-outs to Stafford (30.88pts), Jeanty (37.80pts), Washington (26.50pts) and Moore (21.90pts). It’s ridiculous. There has been absolutely no indication that this was even achievable with Reece’s lacklustre squad. Mike, you must be, rightfully, upset. You lost to a guy that has only scraped over 100pts 4 times up to this point. You got yourself 100% efficiency. There was literally nothing you did wrong. You played a perfect game, but the Fantasy Football Gods have conspired against you, and snatched that all-important victory from you. For those of you still in shock, Reece is hosting an AMA live event to tackle any of the tough questions over the Christmas period. He’s absolutely pulled the wool over all our eyes. The world is upside down. The Jags are actually good. Phillip Rivers returns. Reece has shown he can show up when needed. It’s all happening. With that unbelievable finish, Mike you end your Rookie season as the new Shit King - we salute you, Sir. Undeserved, but that's how it goes sometimes.

So that was Week 16. I’m still in shock. But we have the 6 places confirmed.

Current Standings

10th - Shit King - Breece Lightning 💩

9th - Shedeurs Support Group

8th - SnowshufflerJr

7th - NobodyNeedsGoodNabers

6th - Multiple Goregasms

5th - Clapton Catz

Still to play for are the 3rd/4th and Championship games.

Third Time Charmers v Dali’s Salvadors

A Tadd McShonkey v Game of Throws

Good luck everyone. Except Dali. I hope your team self-combusts. Merry Christmas to all of you as well. Enjoy the Christmas Day games if you can, and I will see you on the other side in a comfortable pair of trousers after we’ve all eaten our body weights in Christmas treats. Vegan friendly for you Dali.

Legends don’t play for points. They play for the CeeDee Compilation Bowl. And remember, in fantasy football, as in life, sometimes the bench knows secrets the starters never learn.